A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Series Finale

I started writing this blog at the end of 2008. I thought I'd share a bit about what it was like for a girl from Los Angeles to live in the Midwest. It was fun to get to post pictures of snow, wildlife, and changing leaves for my friends and family back home. Because my life was so dominated with Autism and all things special needs, that seemed to be a big focus of my writing. I fell into a bit of a niche. That turned out to be a good thing. It became cathartic to get to express my feelings, my fears, my concerns and my truths. My posts started educating friends and family about what my life was like and what it meant, for me, to raise a child with Autism. So many friends and acquaintances had no experience with ASD but were willing to listen, read, and learn. My daughter and I were shown a level of compassion and understanding I never expected. I am grateful. 

Most of all, I'm grateful for the amazing people the Autism and disability blogging world has brought into my life. It's always an incredible feeling to hear the words, "You are not alone. Me, too. I get it." There are other parents out there, just like me, unafraid to share their truth with the world. They have become my friends, my family, and my pillars of strength. 

Over the past 6 years, I've shared bits about living away from my home, Autism, therapies, hopes, fears, divorce, love, my domestication, my adventures being mom to Little Bird and J Bird, and just blooming where I've been planted. And of course, all those moments. Thank you for indulging me. 

I've reached a point where I'm ready to simplify. Parts of my life are far too complicated, stressful, and complex. I crave simplicity to balance it out. For me, that means downsizing. Keeping it simple. Getting rid of stuff. Letting go of things weighing me down; things I don't need or are no longer serving a purpose for me. I'm looking for a smaller home, less stuff in drawers and on shelves, less distraction from what's important. The family that Ben and I have created has filled a void in my life and in my heart. With them, I have found a peace I never knew. 

I'm also stepping away a little bit from social media. I'm not perfect. I get so jealous. It's hard to see the other kids celebrating birthdays at parties my girl isn't invited to; camps, dance classes, soccer clubs that wouldn't include her. Even seeing the pictures of kids gathering together for snow day parties. We just never get those invitations. It's a very Isolating life. And I'm only human, having human feelings. I am a work in progress and I can't help my reaction to some of that (and because I have recently become unimpressed with the utter phoniness of most people on social media) I'm stepping back. I want to spend my time filling up my bucket: finding beauty in creating, learning, and just being. I'm looking for more privacy for my family. I've made most photos private and become extra choosey about with whom I share stuff. Yes, I've been criticized before about what I have and have not written about, posted, shared, etc. I've never bowed down to others. Only to myself. I'll still be found working on Birdhouse For Autism and posting on its Facebook page

Maybe this will turn out to be a small hiatus and not a final goodbye. I might come back here now and then and post little or big things. Until then, thank you for being here and sharing my journey with me, whether you've read one post, followed along from the beginning, or found me halfway. Every comment, every like has been encouraging. I am grateful.

Off we go....

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