A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Monday, February 18, 2013

I'm Late

I'm late. A lot. I'm sorry. I take a lot of the responsibility. I'm just always trying to get so much done; trying to cross just one more thing off my list. Yes, occasionally this has something to do with getting lost on Pinterest, but more often than not, there's a better reason for my tardiness. I'm trying to do it all. Always. 

Little Bird's low muscle tone and difficulty with self-help skills means she needs a lot of extra time to get some of the most basic things done. While I have gained an enormous amount of patience as a result of being her mom, I'm not always as patient as I'd like to be. Ben, however, is like a saint with patience. It's just so much easier (and faster) for me to put her shirt on for her. He actually has this weird amazing ability to wait and encourage her while she struggles to get it on. How does he do that??

She needs help and patience. At eight years old, she can't yet dress herself (in less than an hour); can't brush her own teeth, hair, etc. She really does try and she's getting better at these things all the time. It's just so hard for me to let her. I feel rushed and just want to get it all done. So often I cave just to speed up the process. But truthfully, even when I do these things for her; when I slip on her boots and get her arms into her jacket and I buy myself more time, there's always something I feel like I can and should be doing. Throwing the clothes in the machine into the dryer, tossing something into the recycle bin (actually, that's the Bird's chore), or stamping the letters/bills on the front table. It's never ending and I know I'm preaching to the choir- you know, unless your children can pick out their own clothes, dress themselves, brush their teeth and hair, and you know, wipe their own asses. 
So, I'm sorry I'm often late. I'm running around trying to get all her needs met while helping her to gain independence; trying to be an active part of my community, have fresh & healthy food made for my family, take some kind of care of myself, and learn something new every day. Oh, and did you know I'm also trying to create a means of financially supporting my bird and I? You know, in my spare time! 

I could go on and on, but, you know, I'm running late for something else!

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