A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Friday, March 30, 2012

1 in 88

Here's my 1 in 88





*This Moment*


{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -SouleMama

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Let's Light It Up BLUE!

Once again, homes across America will Light It Up Blue to promote Autism awareness and support on throughout the month of April. You can get your special blue light bulbs at The Home Depot.


Of course you can get bulbs anywhere, but The Home Depot will donate one dollar of every bulb purchase to Autism Speaks which works to promote Autism Awareness and Advocacy. 

If you and your families light it up blue, please send me a pic at TheRealDaniG (at) gmail (dot) com. Got it? I'd love to post your pic!

And, of course, I'd REALLY love to post pictures of you wearing BLUE on April 2nd (that's next Monday) to show the world that you support Autism awareness.

Did you make it on to my wall of fame in 2010? How about 2011? Please be sure to wear BLUE on Monday and send me a picture of you so I can post it and make you world famous*

*this will not make you world famous, but it may make you feel good about yourself.




Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Even our haircuts are interesting

It was time for a haircut. So, we went into one of those walk right in
no appointment necessary spin the wheel and hope you come out with
something remotely close to a stylish cut. There were a lot of people
in there. I wasn't convinced we were gonna make it but I told her that
we'd visit the library if we made it out of here alive after the
haircut. That worked. That and the YouTube videos we watched while we
waited.

He called her name. She sat in his chair. I wondered how long I could
get away without saying "she has autism and doesn't talk very much" or
"she doesn't understand how to sit still" or "she doesn't mean to bite
your hands each time they're within reach". It's a game I like to play
with myself- see what triggers the disclaimer.
Usually it starts off right away. They ask "what's your name?" "how
old are you?" *crickets* I usually do the awkward answer for her
thing. This time was no different. And yet, it was.

When he asked how old she is, and she didn't answer, I did my typical,
"tell him how old you are, bird." and then when she didn't say a
thing, I answered, "she's seven." Oh, I have a daughter who is 6 1/2.
And then my mind started going:
So, I bet he thinks it's weird that the bird won't talk, has her
fingers in her ears, can't sit still, etc. But he interrupted my pity
party with "but she is.... disabled." And there I was: back in my
comfort zone. We talked for a while about his daughter who was
recently diagnosed with Angelman syndrome (at 6!!) and how the doctors
just kept saying that she's just delayed. Grrrrr! He just moved here
with his wife, daughter, and son about a year ago. I gave him some
names and little bits of information for him to look into some
services, etc. He was surprised that I knew as much as I do about
Angelman, but of course I spent hours googling every single condition
we ever had Little Bird tested for.

Who'd have ever thought that all I needed to feel more comfortable in
the nightmare that often coincides with haircuts was to meet another
SN parent?? That's my comfort zone, I guess. These are my peeps.

Oh, added bonus?? The girl got a super cute haircut!



You can't see the haircut, but she's still pretty cute here.


Friday, March 23, 2012

*This Moment*



{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -SouleMama

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I Am Strong Because...

"There's no use knowing
which way the wind is blowing.
My mind's made up
I'm doing this.
I'm doing this."
-Head and the Heart

If you know me in real life and you've seen me somewhere and told me that you read this stuff here, I probably blushed and brushed off any compliments and then changed the subject as quickly as I could. That's my typical response, at least. It's not you, it's me. I mean, this is me. I pretty much put it all out there, don't I?

I'm playing my cards as they've lain. I never, ever, ever in a million years thought I'd be where I am today. I've walked through some very difficult things (alone and with others) in a pretty short amount of time: alcoholism, anorexia, autism, divorce, living away from my family and friends, some abandonment, too. I feel like Maya Angelou should be here saying, "and still, I rise." Because I do. I just kinda keep on going.

People say things without thinking like, "I don't know how you do it!" Yeah, well, I don't either. In fact, I am not totally sure how I'm gonna do it tomorrow, but I know that I am. I have moments and even days and even weeks when I'm not sure I am gonna do it, but I just do. I just do.

So, I am strong because I have to be. For me. And for her.

Today's prompt: I am strong because....


Sunday, March 18, 2012

Snowed In

We had a pretty boring wimpy mild winter this year. There really wasn't event one snowpocalypse, no Snotorious B.I.G! I kinda get excited when they start warning people to get things done early before the storm hits. I usually make a big pot of chili, get my cozies on, make sure there's enough Dora or whatever on the DVR, and ride it out.

If I was alone (a fantasy), I'd probably still make the chili, just less. I'd also be sure there was enough wood for the fireplace (in my fantasy I have a wood burning fireplace in my log cabin), and a few bottles of Savignon Blanc in the fridge. Instead of the DVR, I'd pick out my favorite records (on vinyl) and crank up the speakers. I'd still be in my cozies, though. That's for sure. Oh, coffee! I forgot, I'd have enough coffee to last a few days just in case I was snowed in for too long. Wait, there's internet access, right? And Scramble with friends? And home made chocolate chip cookies?

Wine, music, coffee, cozies. Am I leaving anything out? What would you bring?

Today's prompt: If I was snowed in at a cabin deep in the woods

Gluten Detox?

Since Little Bird has been Gluten Free for 3 1/2 years, I know how healthy a gluten free diet can be, and how bad gluten can be on the human body. I finally decided to try it.



I'm on day 13. I feel terrible. This sucks. I am exhausted, fatigued, depressed, irritable, and my head is super foggy. Of course I've googled the shit out of this and it turns out that these are all pretty common symptoms of a gluten detox (probably the same symptoms of a ton of other things, too). I feel pretty run down on the whole.

I'm used to eating breads and pastas. My body might be in a bit of shock from not getting the sugars that pastas become, although I'm still eating a fair share of sugars in fruits and GF baked goods. Still, weird. I just want to get in bed and sleep all day, but that's something that single moms can't ever really do- although, when I was a married mom I couldn't ever do that either!

Yes, stress makes everything worse. And yes, I've had a good strong dose of stress lately (ugh), but this is different.

So, who out there has gone GF? Did you feel this way, too? How long did it last? Did you start to feel better? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Do unicorns really exist?


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Grown-Up Birthdays

This was me on my last birthday:


This year I'll turn 35 and I'll celebrate in a way I never have before. 
No clue how or what I'll do, but I certainly know it will be different. 

Maybe I'll get to do all the things that most moms want on their special days: to sleep in, drink fresh coffee, have breakfast served to me in bed. Have someone else take care of cleaning up the apartment, have someone else handle the tantrums (I'll take the giggles and snuggles, though), have someone else drive me to the spa (oh, yes. There should be a spa). Eat a delicious dinner made by someone else (think I'll still be gluten free by then?), and then eat a deliciously decadent dessert. Of course, all this is followed up with not having to bathe anyone or put anyone to bed. 

Really, is that too much to ask for??!


Today's prompt: How adults should spend their birthdays

Friday, March 16, 2012

SN Ryan Gosling

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I bring you my first official entry into the Special Needs Ryan Gosling meme that my girl Sunday started up just 6 weeks ago. Some of my most favoritest (yes it is, too a word!) bloggers have participated and I finally figured out how decided to do it, too!

So, without further ado...


You MUST check out some of the other entries. Trust me.



The Great Outdoors

We've had some nice weather this week. Nice enough to go outside and play!






Today's prompt: a memory from the great outdoors

*This Moment*


{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -SouleMama



Thursday, March 15, 2012

Only Love is Real

Two years ago I met a girl at a dinner party. She told me about a book that changed her life called Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss. I read it right away. I guess I knew I was looking for something to change my life, too. Then I moved on to another book he wrote called Messages From The Masters. Last year I was asked to speak at a parlor meeting on the inclusion program that Little Bird attends for school and summer camp. The meeting was held in a woman's home. I was speaking and my eye caught a book on the shelf, another of Brian Weiss' called Only Love Is Real. At the conclusion of the evening, I asked if I could borrow it (this reminds me, I haven't returned it yet. Sorry, Amy!).

This is an amazing story of how people whose souls have been connected for many lifetimes are reconnected. The whole notion of past lives and that our souls can move on into the next lifetime is so comforting to me. It's almost a feeling of safety. Hard to explain and by now you probably think I'm nuts (I am).

Anyway, Only Love Is Real made me believe in soul mates. I believe we can have more than one and they're not all romantic. You know how you meet someone and right away you know you've got a connection? There's something to that. I know there is. Again, I'm not talking just romance. I'm talking any kind of connection. It's a beautiful thing.

Today's prompt: The most romantic book



Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What A Day


A year ago today, I had surgery. It was minor, but when you're a mom and you go under anesthesia, 
no surgery feels minor. 
I had a small tumor removed. 

The scar has since faded, but that day my life changed forever. 
That was the day I decided I could no longer stay married. 

Today I signed papers finalizing my divorce. 
In the last year my life has changed dramatically. 
I've become stronger than I ever thought I could.
I've learned lessons I never knew were out there. 
I've seen peoples' true colors- both the good and the ugly.
I've learned how to believe in myself.

The scar is still there- on the inside and out.
What an interesting little physical reminder of such a pivotal time.


Today's prompt: Post an old photo, and tell us what was happening at that moment


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Mmmmm Veggies

I enjoy vegetables. I'll eat 'em raw with a ranch dip or hummus or even dipped in guacamole. But, really, I'd eat just about anything dipped in guacamole. Little Bird likes to eat veggies, too. Broccoli is her favorite, for sure. But, she's happy to eat the peas I mix in to her pasta and the spinach that her Noni (her dad's mom) cooks into her famous meat sauce. Lately she's loving eating garbanzo beans straight out of the can. Not a vegetable, but still it's very healthy and great protein!

I know I can get her to eat more veggies if I can find a recipe for a dairy free ranch dressing to dip them into. Anyone out there have any suggestions?

I'm a pretty healthy eater and I think that's why she is, too. There's just not a lot of "junk" in the home, so there aren't options for eating poorly. Still, we've driven through McDonalds for some fries and she loves to eat hotdogs. But, there's always a veggie and/or a fruit within arms reach.

Any veggie I wouldn't force her to eat? I really don't think I'd force her to eat anything. I think there are WAY too many sneaky ways to hide healthy stuff in foods if I needed to!

A vegetable I won't insist my child eats

Monday, March 12, 2012

On My To-Do List

1. Make it through a cold or flu season without getting sick.
2. Learn to play the banjo.
3. Go crazy.
3. Send the new baby gifts on my counter to @JenerationPR and @JHarrison34.
4. Put pictures up on the walls of my new apartment (2 months still counts as new, right?).
5. Make a Special Needs Ryan Gossling post to link up with my friend Sunday.
6. Cut refined sugars out of my diet.
7. Write a book about my experiences.
8. See the HBO Temple Grandin movie (yeah, I know).
9. Finish up my degree in SLP, OT, PT, ABA, etc. By now I should totally have one.
10. Make tonight's dinner. Gotta go.


Today's prompt: Ten things I have yet to accomplish


Sunday, March 11, 2012

Being a first time mother...

I'd never really changed a diaper. I'd wince at the thought of squishing a bug. I couldn't imagine not throwing up if I saw someone vomit. Now, I instinctively cup my hands if I think she's gonna hurl, I picked up a roly poly bug that was roling and poling around my apartment last week with my bare hands, and I give an un-potty-trained seven year old an enema about twice a month.

Needless to say, things are different now. My whole perspective, my whole list of willingnesses (not an actual word, but still), it's all changed. These things might've been a big deal in the past, but nothing seems like a big deal anymore. A lot is just what it is.

Most moms will tell you that. "Shit and green beans" is how my great grandmother (my granny) described motherhood. And trust me, she knew her shit.

Today's prompt: Being a first time mother....



Saturday, March 10, 2012

Easier


is it gonna get easier
is it gonna get tough

are the waters gonna open wider
or are they gonna get rough
-Joe Purdy

Sometimes I think things were easier before I became Little Bird's mom. There were no worries about forever (who will care for her after I'm gone) or even the next few years (what happens when she gets her period), about school districts and IEPs and bullying and potty training a seven year old. Whoa.

But, really, everything has gotten a lot easier since becoming a mom. But, that's because I became her mom. I don't sweat the small stuff. I did before. I'm talking about things that once might have bothered me. I remember not going to meetings or social gatherings (sometimes those were the same thing) just because I had a huge pimple or not showing up somewhere unless I looked good, socks matched, etc. I ate balanced meals, worried about what people thought of me, etc. Today, there's just no time for that. My plate is full of real problems. I don't have the time or patience to sweat the small stuff. I pay no attention to made up problems: the what ifs that carry little or no significance. I'm focused on the what ifs that are really more like the what happens whens.

Today I don't have time for matching socks- I'm not even wearing socks today! My hair is dirty, I have wrinkles and dark circles under my eyes. I'm not worried about what I'll look like when people see me. As I write this, I'm out in public. I'm just happy to be out. Of course, I've got one eye on the screen and one eye on the girl. (Yes, of course she's with me!) But tonight I get to go out to a big community event. A grown up night out!! I'll be wearing a little black dress. Yep, it'll be the same little black dress I wore to the last big community event I went to, but you know what? I don't care! In the past, I'd have worried about people noticing I'm in the same dress, same heels, same purse.Tonight, I'm just excited that I'll get to go out, and act like every other adult, while someone else lovingly deals with an un-potty trained seven year old cares for my bird. And of course I'll have a good time, and of course I'll be missing her the whole time and of course I'll kiss her when I get home while trying not to wake her!

Today's prompt: How my idea of "easy" has changed since becoming a mother

Friday, March 9, 2012

Of Wrinkles and Itchy Legs

My hands are red and painful. My legs are itchy. My hair is dirty. My eyes have circles under them, framed by bags. My forehead looks like a roadmap of wrinkles.

I've been washing my hands so much lately between the plague, the pink eye, and the potty bullshit stuff I've been dealing with that my hands are practically raw. No time to put lotion on after every wash. There's also not much time to lotion up after every shower, hence the itchy legs. The dirty hair? Well, while I can usually fit in a shower, I'm not always able to get shampoo and conditioner happening. The circles and puffiness under my eyes and the wrinkles on my forehead? That's called stress and worry and fear and anxiety. I would love to be able to use some kind of great wrinkle cream but maybe just some good old fashioned xanax will do the trick?!

I see some of my friends talking about days of pampering, but in my world that means diapers, not spa treatments.

So, if you happen to see me with clean hair, know that it's a very big deal.

Today's prompt: I never get to ______ anymore.

Rocking the Red Pump

Once again this year, I'll be Rocking the Red Pump to raise awareness about the impact HIV/AIDS on women and girls.

(margins smargins)


The Red Pump Project


*This Moment*



{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -SouleMama

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Choo Choo

"I wish I was a headlight on a northbound train.
I wish I was a headlight on a northbound train.
I'd shine my light through the cool Colorado rain."
-Grateful Dead

I've only been on a train once. I went from Detroit to Chicago to see my friends Abby and Michael get married (shout out to Abby and Michael- heyyyy!!). It was a great experience getting there. I went with two friends and we laughed a lot, talked a lot, listened to music and took pictures and videos (shout out to Jason and Ben!). The way back kinda sucked. Took forever. Unexpected delays, crowded train cars, etc. But, still, good company and great music to listen to.

I'd like to take a train trip again. People say taking the train to Toronto is a great time. I'd try that. I'd totally do Chicago again, though. I'd also go through the southern part of the country, just to look around a bit.

I don't think I'd want to be on a train by myself, but if I had to, I think I'd like to go through the European countryside, like in the movies, where people get on and off in different countries, with different accents, where it doesn't matter what language anyone speaks because everyone assumes it's different from their own. All that non-verbal communication and (hopefully) camaraderie with fellow passengers sounds cool. In reality, it's probably gross, smelly, and the food sucks. But, still....

Today's prompt: If I were alone on a train --- I'd be heading ....

Loot!

Ding dong! I figured it had to be UPS and a package of clothes, a singing card, and a book for the bird from my mom. This happens weekly. But, nope! This package was even better (sorry mommy!).

Just look at all this loot!

We're talking gluten free cookies, coffee and tea from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, a travel mug (I've needed one!!), coloring books and crayons, and an owl nightlight for Little Bird!!!

All this welcoming the bird and I to our new home from my very dear friend Dina; someone I've known for almost 20 years and who has always been a great friend to me. I feel so lucky to have friends like her. So, here's a very public thank you to you, Dina!! You brought a much needed smile to my face. I am so grateful to have you!



Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Riding the GF train

I'm trying something new. Going gluten free for a month. I think. We'll see. Today is day 3. I wanna see if I feel any better, more alert, less crashy in the afternoons. Crashy is a word, right? It should be.

I figured it would be pretty easy. I mean, my house is filled with GF foods since Little Bird has been gluten free and casein free for 3 1/2 years now. But, the stuff I have for her is all kid stuff: chicken nuggets and stuff like that. So far it's fine. But.... I need to find some things I can make for myself. I looked in the cookbooks I have for her, but again, they're all kid's foods.

So many GF recipes are for baked goods. That's not really what I'm going for. Since August, I've eliminated a lot of meats from my diet. I'm probably eating meat about twice a month. I have a feeling I'm gonna have to add that back into my diet as I go GF. Not sure.

Anyone out there have any suggestions?

Today's prompt: Recipes that baffle me


The R Word

Today's the day.

"Spread the word to end the word" day.

The word?  Retard. You know, as in "omigod, that is, like, so retarded." It sounds a little bit like valley girl speech, because that's what I hear in my head. Look, you can take the girl out of the valley, but you can't take the valley out of the girl. I digress.

Today is an important day. It's a day we bring a little bit of awareness to the fact that people are still using this word to poke fun at others, to put them down while not even realizing what they're saying. Well, let me tell you what you're saying.

I pulled this from wikipedia:
Retardation is the act or result of delaying; the extent to which anything is retarded or delayed; that which retards or delays.


Well, Little Bird? She might not have a diagnosis that includes mental retardation or intellectual disability, but she's delayed. All her milestones have been delayed. So, I ask you....


Would you call this sweet little girl retarded?


r-word.org



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Stars on a String

So, today's prompt is "Pinterest ideas I have yet to try." Well, the truth is, I joined pinterest last summer. June, maybe. I had fun poking around, but I was kind of done with it by the time everyone else got into it. Yeah, I'm pretttty ahead of the curve. I haven't used it to find fun, crafty ideas or new, easy recipes (but I should).

I did find something that I wanted to try back in November but I never did it. Today's prompt is pushing me to just do it already. So today, I'm making a paint sample garland.

Here's the pin: http://pinterest.com/pin/221239400414523656/

Here's what I did:

I went to Home Depot and grabbed a bunch of pretty paint samples

Then I used the star paper puncher to make pretty, pretty stars. 

Then I took a needle and thread and strung the stars together

Then I hung 'em up in my Little Bird's room


A very fun, very cheap, very crafty decoration!

Today's prompt: Pinterest ideas I have yet to try



Monday, March 5, 2012

Road trippin'

I haven't been on many road trips. I drove from Los Angeles to Taos, NM one summer along route 66. That was my first road trip. I remember the scenery being fantastic, the company not so much. There are some beautiful parts of the country that can lift you out of the car and into another world completely.

I spent some time living in San Francisco and would often drive home to Los Angeles. In those days, it was all about the destination, not the journey. So, I'd take the quickest route. Sometimes the quickest is the ugliest, most boring way to go. But it gets the job done. A few years later, I took the long way. It's gorgeous. Absolutely spectacular. Takes about 3 hours longer, so it's not for every time, but it certainly was worth it. There's more than one way to get the same place, after all.

When I close my eyes, and think, "what is a road trip?" I think of the essentials: good snacks, great music,  fully charged cell phone (just in case), that "how do people live out here in the middle of nowhere?" thought, and the most important thing of all: my camera. It could be a real camera or just on my iPhone, but that is the absolute don't-leave-home-without-it item.

You never know when the moment and the lighting will be just right. You never know when you'll see something that brings something up for you. You never know if you will ever see these things again, travel these roads again. Sometimes it matters where you're going, but usually it doesn't matter at all.

snapped on my last road trip to Columbus, Ohio


Today's prompt: 
What I never leave behind on a road trip


Sunday, March 4, 2012

What I'm Gonna Do...

My divorce and all that's come along with it have left me depressed. I'm getting sick a lot more, too. Connected? Fo sho.

I've gotta get it together. Must snap out of it. A whole new season seems like a good enough reason to start.

I'm gonna start going to the gym again. No, really. I am.
I'm gonna try to go gluten free for a month (just to try it)
I'm gonna be social again. I haven't been out with friends for months. Literally months. I haven't had many babysitters in a long, long time. The two or three times I have, I've still had to put her to bed when I've gotten home.
I'm gonna make this apartment my own. Put some stuff on the walls. You know, decorate a bit.
I'm gonna take some time to take care of myself. Might just get a pedicure or a new pair of shoes (that are NOT from target).
I'm gonna try to get my groove back. I guess. I don't know. We'll see....

What are YOU gonna do?


Today's prompt: what are your goals this spring?


Saturday, March 3, 2012

If only I didn't have to worry

Sometimes she sees me coming down the hall. Other times a classmate will see me and shout my name, alerting her that I'm there, ready to pick her up for the day. She is always so excited to see me. What a feeling! She runs right up to me and eagerly shouts, "I ate _____." Fill in the blank. Soup, eggs, fish sticks, tuna, carrots, broccoli, chicken nuggets (not real chicken because she attends a kosher dairy school), etc.

She knows. She knows my first question is always, "what did she eat?"

It's unbelievable how what goes into her affects everything. Her mood, behavior, basic functions: sleep, poop, etc. I need to keep track of it all. I think about it all the time. All the things that go in here and then I wait for, ummm, stuff to come out. Gotta be sure all her regulatory systems are functioning. Life is not fun when something's off.

She knows. However, she doesn't know what she can't eat or why. That means I've gotta remain extra vigilant, all the time. I'd love to take to her to a restaurant and let her order anything she wants. Or to take her to a birthday party and not suspiciously have to leave before pizza and cake are served! Or, cook just one meal for dinner- imagine that! I'd really love to not have to worry about her ALL the time. Although, I'm pretty sure I'd just go right ahead and find something else to worry about!

What are you constantly keeping track of?



Today's prompt:
what if you didn't have to worry about....

Friday, March 2, 2012

My inspiration

When she was 6 months old, they told me she seemed weak and floppy; possible muscle disease. I asked with a shaky voice, "but she'll be okay, right? will she be able to function? will she have to live with me forever? will she go to college?" I must've seemed crazy asking them these things about a 6 month old baby.

"I mean, she'll be able to walk and everything, right?"

"I don't know." "It's too early to tell." "We're just not sure."

Physical therapy, occupational therapy, early intervention, special needs baby groups. Practicing exercises at home. Hoping, crying, praying, fighting hard for her. Never giving up.

Those first steps were hard earned. They came on September 28, 2006. Of course I remember the date. 


I've posted this picture before. It's one of my favorites. 
The look on her face is pure determination.
She wants to make it to the top.
And she will.


a mom blog community

Today's prompt:
Who is your inspiration?


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Taking care of number one (that's me)

So, I wasn't gonna do it, but Tiffany, who runs The Blog Dare Dm'd me (that means Direct Message, mom) on Twitter, asking if I was gonna join in. I decided I'd do it. Basically the Blog Dare is a series of daily prompts meant to encourage posts and cure the ol' writer's block (I gots some a dat).

I'll commit to making it through the month of March, and hope that this goes better than the Pic A Day project I failed at miserably tried.

Today's prompt:
What's the best aspect of your life?

Today, it's the ability to take care of myself. I haven't always been so great at it. I often tend to put other things and other people first and then I suffer. Sounds like a mom, huh?! Well, I usually just go along doing that, putting myself last and it's just how I roll until BOOM! I suffer and realize that this way isn't gonna work. That's right where I am today.

One of my oldest friends is getting married this weekend. I booked the plane tickets and make all the reservations back in December. Last week, I tried on the dress I would wear to the wedding and started picking out the clothes I'd wear for the rest of the weekend. I'd made my plans- I'd stay with my best friend Samantha, get to have brunch with my brother, visit with some of my good friends and watch Jennifer get married. Huge bonus: my dad would be in town for one of the nights and I'd get to see him, too!! I was getting really excited. Counting down the days. And then I woke up on Saturday with a fever, chills, and alllllll achy. I whined and moaned but I knew that I had five days to get better. It's just a flu, I thought. It'll last 48 hours and I'll be good to go. I'd drink some theraflu and feel better in the morning. Only, I didn't. My fever and I headed to urgent care praying to the strep throat gods that it was bacterial and I could start a zpack and feel fine in 2 days. The swab was negative. Must be viral; ride it out with fluids, rest, and chicken soup. The next few days got worse. Weakness, dizziness, sore throat, painful ears, congestion, aches, etc. Ridiculous. Last night, I was trying to pack. What was I thinking? I couldn't even pack, how could I make it through a day of travel and then being sick on the road?

I called the airline. Canceled the trip. Devastated. So disappointed. Pissed off, too. Feeling pretty sorry for myself. Of course I was looking forward to the friends and the wedding and the trip and all that, but I was also looking forward to the break. I haven't had one in a long, long, long time. I rescheduled the trip and I'll get to go out there and see my friends. Still, it's not what I wanted. But, I know that what's most important is that I take care of myself. I obviously wouldn't have a good time if I were to be sick the whole time. So, please, nobody breathe on my for the next three weeks so I can stay healthy and strong and able to go on this trip (currently titled trip 2.0).



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See, it's not just my mom! (since Jan 1, 2010)