"There's no use knowing
which way the wind is blowing.
My mind's made up
I'm doing this.
I'm doing this."
-Head and the Heart
If you know me in real life and you've seen me somewhere and told me that you read this stuff here, I probably blushed and brushed off any compliments and then changed the subject as quickly as I could. That's my typical response, at least. It's not you, it's me. I mean, this is me. I pretty much put it all out there, don't I?
I'm playing my cards as they've lain. I never, ever, ever in a million years thought I'd be where I am today. I've walked through some very difficult things (alone and with others) in a pretty short amount of time: alcoholism, anorexia, autism, divorce, living away from my family and friends, some abandonment, too. I feel like Maya Angelou should be here saying, "and still, I rise." Because I do. I just kinda keep on going.
People say things without thinking like, "I don't know how you do it!" Yeah, well, I don't either. In fact, I am not totally sure how I'm gonna do it tomorrow, but I know that I am. I have moments and even days and even weeks when I'm not sure I am gonna do it, but I just do. I just do.
So, I am strong because I have to be. For me. And for her.