"Momma once told me
you're already home where you feel love
I get lost in my mind
I am lost in my mind
There are stars up above
We can start moving forward"
-The Head and the Heart
We moved. Me and my bird. We moved. Sold the house, packed everything up, and moved into an apartment about a 1/2 mile away from home. So, we're still on our turf. I wanted to stay in the same area so that Little Bird could still go to her bookstore, her Target, her favorite restaurants, etc. Plus, we're within walking distance from her school and summer camp. Strangely, we've moved into a new public school district; one that's much better for my kind of kid. That was obviously another big consideration for us in the move.
I left my dream home behind. Seriously, I loved that house. It was beautiful and comfortable and perfect. A little too big, but that's okay. I walked out of that house for the last time a few days ago. I cried my eyes out for hours. One of my favorite neighbors emailed me, asking if I could drive by every so often so she'd see my car and it'd seem like I'd never left. But, no. I don't think I can. In fact, I think it would be impossible to drive past that house ever again. I'm sure that with time it will be easier, but it's even hard for me to drive past the entrance to the subdivision.
I had great memories in that home. Little Bird took her first steps there; the ones that at least one doctor said might never come. Cassidy died in my arms in that home. I had some really great times there. Of course, there were also a lot of very difficult days there where I was filled with anxiety, sadness, and strife. I know that I can bloom wherever I'm planted and that I'll make many, many more beautiful memories in my new place.
We're settling in, making it ours. Slowly. It's a process.
First thing I did was fix up the bird's room. I decorated it with much of the same stuff from her old room so she'd find comfort in the familiar. There are lots of birds and owls and trees and mushrooms (what?) decorating the walls, her bed, pillows, etc. She likes it. A lot. That's all that matters.
We are making it our own.