"But someone, they should have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down.
-Band of Horses**
Remember being pregnant and reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting?" I loved that. It was so much fun to read everything that was happening inside me and how the "thing" was forming. Then I had the baby, Little Bird. And then I read "What to Expect The First Year." And then I wanted a refund. Because none of that shit happened. My baby didn't lift her little head up, didn't roll over, didn't stop screaming. Then came those handouts at the well visits with her pediatrician: the "at x weeks/months/years, your baby should be...." That's what this is all about, by the way.
Birthdays suck. Mother's Day, too. Both of those occasions remind me of my reasons for my
Yesterday was the 6 year check up. It went something like this: weight- too low, height- perfect (she does not get this from me), "here's a cup for her to pee in and here's the paperwork" (at 6 years old your kid should be...) I've literally left those papers behind since her 6 month check up. They lied every time. So, we go into the bathroom to see if she'll pee in the cup. No luck, but I was lucky enough to find a load in her underwear. Awesome. "Um, excuse me, doctor? Could you please sit in here with her while I run to the car and get new underwear?" Check up resumes and of course the doctor (whom I adore and I know she's reading this right now- hi Dr J!!!) can't go forward with her typical check up since we don't fit in to ANY of the typical questions. Dr J is pretty cool with the stuff we do and she supports us while humbly admitting that it's not her expertise or experience, but as long as we're not doing anything to harm the bird, she's supportive. About 7 minutes into our vaccine talk (we do this at every check up. I am not anti-vaccine, I'm just not doing boosters), I looked over at the bird and she had that I'm-dropping-a-load-in-my-pants look (you know the one). And that was the end of the doctor visit.
I think she's still getting used to these supplements. They're definitely having an effect on her gut. The New Deal is still a work in progress.
I left that appointment frustrated and sad. I left the "your six year old should be...." papers in the exam room. I looked at a few things on there and put it back down. Those papers suck.
We went home, watched the Duck Song on YouTube, took a bath, and carried on. Because that's what we do. We carry on. (sometimes with a load in our pants)
**As the bird soaks in her bath, I grabbed my laptop (I'm a Mac snob) and went to 8tracks.com (which I LOVE) and pressed play. This Band of Horses song was the first one to come on. Never heard it before. Perfect words.