What a rough couple of weeks it's been. When Little Bird is out of whack, we're all out of whack. Like I've said before, I know this roller coaster ride will rise up again, but I still wanna get off. Like, my friend, Melissa said to me last week, "I just wish it would ride straight for a while." The 'ups' are amazing and we are all able to appreciate them because we've spent so much time in the 'downs'. It's just... how much longer can I ride this ride?
My conversation with Melissa last week brought something else up for me. I'm obviously not the only parent who goes into her baby's room at night while she's asleep and cries, prays, begs the forces of the universe for help. I swear, when she's asleep, she's the most amazing, sweetest kid in the whole world. I can go in there, snuggle up and have a moment with her without being interrupted by her compulsive need to do somersaults, flap her arms, or shout out the lines to a SuperWhy episode. She's just sweet and peaceful. Sometimes when I see her like that, it renews my drive to keep going. Because I love her. And I'll keep fighting for her. Too bad she doesn't nap, though, because sometimes in the afternoons I could really use that sense of renewal, that push not to give up on her... and the coffee just isn't doin' it much anymore!