A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My beloved monster

"My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather.
She will always be the only thing 
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn... mean"

My beloved monster loves me. She really does. We are so completely bonded (and enmeshed- against my better judgment) that she really strives to please me. She does not like when I'm not pleased, and she is always seeking social interaction and a social connection with me. That means that I've had to stop getting "mad" with her. I simply just shut down my interaction. No eye contact, no speech, nothing. Funny, but she will actually grab my face in her hands and try to engage and connect with me. 

"oh man, she's right behind me, isn't she??"

I'm dropping a bunch of supplements today. Little Bird is reacting to something. Cutting everything out except the probiotics and the fish oil. Her system needs a bit of a break. She's just been so nuts. You can't tell from these pictures we took today, but it was a terrible day. For her. For me. For us. 
Just a head's up: when you send me encouraging messages and/or leave me encouraging comments, it means a lot to me and makes me feel good. It gives me a little bit of fuel to keep on keepin' on. Yes, I'm talkin' to YOU. The emails I got today from Kelli, Jackie, and Jaime meant a lot. I am grateful to have some pretty cool chicks in my life.

PS: After the day I've had today, I could kick myself for complaining about 2 little "accidents" yesterday.


My name is Erin. said...

Abby was so squeely today. Ear piercing. Shrill.

I'm sorry you had a tough day. Blogging about it helps, I think. It always does me. It's nice to look at sweet pictures that came out of a not so sweet day. Reminds you that there is always something wonderful to reflect on. Even when you feel like crap.

Debbie said...

And this too shall pass. You know it will. Just to reassure you, all moms have "those days". Haha, even when their kids are 18 or 23 or 26! Ewww...that might not be reassuring...but hopefully brought a smile to your pretty face.
Love ya.

Heather said...

Well I must return the favor- you know how hard of a time my B has been having- it's been horrible and we're talking weeks here. Then yesterday- he came home from school SMILEY, WANTED to be downstairs with me (instead of running and hiding by himself for hours), we "conversed" in his language several times, he sat at the table and did some math worksheets all on his own w/out complaining and he was laughing- lots of happy laughing...so all of this being said, there is always a good time following a rough spot- I've always found this true w/Brian, even though I have a hard time telling myself that when he's in that not-so-good period. I've already read ahead in your blog so I know your little bird had a much better day following- that's wonderful!! ((I think I may have rambled here- it's how my brain works- excuse the clutter))

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