A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Still got it, baby!

"Still crazy after all these years"
-Paul Simon
Since my husband was on vacation this past week, I got to go out by myself and enjoy some time with girlfriends. Actually, my newly discovered soul sister J is moving out of state. I will miss her, but I know from personal experience that moving away from everything you know is actually a beautiful blossoming experience- she's going on a wonderful adventure. Plus, she's as addicted to facebook as I am (ok, she's a little more hooked) and I've got skype!! J threw an awesome party this weekend and I had a great time with the girls. It's so nice to go out and just be ME- not thinking about what my kid is eating, drinking, whether she's peeing in her Dora underwear, etc.
Here are some pics of great girls whom I totally dig and have a lot of fun with....
These photos have taught me 2 very important things...
1- I've still got it
2- I need to lay out topless this weekend

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I'm just sayin'

It's no secret. I'm kind of a bitch sometimes. I'm not ashamed. I'm a bit judgmental. Ever since we donated Little Bird's hair, I've noticed myself checking out other people's locks. Last night I saw a woman with gorgeous hair (this is a picture of her- yes, I took a pic. I blurred out her face to protect the innocent, but I probably should have blurred out the dress, too- there I go again!). Her hair was just so pretty and healthy looking. Anyway, all I could think was she really should give that away. Some beautiful wigs can be made out of that hair and that's a lot of smile potential- smiles on the faces of the women and kids who have lost their own hair. Seriously, what does she needs all that hair for?
I'm just sayin'

Saturday, July 18, 2009

fitting in vs blending in

"'Cause I, I once heard

that you gotta learn
how to blend in to this mess
Where nothin's hard
nothin's precious
and nothin's smooth or flawless"

-Wallflowers
It's never been very easy for me to blend in. Plus, I've never totally wanted to blend in with the rest. I like being different. But I'd like if my difference was my hair color, tattoos (sorry dad), clothes, or even vernacular. Something harmless. I guess I want to fit in, but not blend in. Make sense? It totally does to me. I'm beginning to get a little nervous about putting my atypical kid into a typical school with typical kids. I sat down with Dr. G last week to talk about it and he reminded me of something that I've always been aware of, but I think I'm just starting to really FEEL it. Simply put, it's that everybody's got something. Even the seemingly typical kids have something going on. I know that's true, but it's hard to really feel when I'm busy comparing my insides to someone else's outsides. My fears are that she'll never fit in. She'll never have friends. The only kids who will play with her are the kids of my friends, who won't have the heart to say no to my requests. I'm already there. As a pretty social person, that's tough to see. I recently read somewhere that a woman in the same position decided to stop trying to force play dates with her kid's peers. Rather, she'll just have to make do with those friends who won't refuse. I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. I really do need to work on the social piece. That's the whole point of putting her into this "normal" kid school. The technical term is inclusion (Inclusion is a term used by people with disabilities and other disability rights advocates for the idea that all people should freely, openly and withoutpity accommodate any person with a disability without restrictions or limitations of any kind.) In effort to reduce some of the major, noticeable differences between Little Bird and the "normies" in her inclusion program (by the way, it's ALL typical kids and one kid with sp needs- that's my girl- who will have a shadow, para-professional, advocate, etc), I'm working really hard to get her out of diapers. So, if you don't have kids, you should know that most kids get out of diapers around 2. My kid is 4 1/2. Once again, we're big-time delayed. So, about 10 days ago, we took away diapers. Strictly underwear now. I'd say she's successfully using the potty 75% of the time. Not bad. I'm hoping that we get all the way there soon. The thing is, nothing comes easy with Little Bird. So, I'm trying to keep my expectations in check. After all, I've learned that very hard way that expectations mean nothing and having them is a great way to get disappointed!
Here she is surrounded by her new underwear, which she loves!!
Again, I don't want her to be like all the other kids. After all, that would be boring. But, I don't want her to have to struggle through life and without friends to support her. My prayer and wish for her is to succeed socially in this new school program. I'm really hoping that this time next year I will feel more and more confident in her ability to socialize with other kids; to feel comfortable in her own skin and for me to accept her differences and be ok with them. I'm definitely scared, but that's ok because this is pretty scary stuff.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

How did I get here?

"And you may ask yourself
Well... how did I get here?"
-Talking Heads
Here's the deal, I was a crazy, sassy, bad-ass teenager. I'm talking kicked out of every school I ever went to (beginning at 7 years old). Of course I giggled the first time one of Little Bird's teachers told me that she doesn't deal with authority very well. I totally put my parents through hell. Not quite the hell I'm going through with my own kid, but still.
Many thanks to Dina B for posting this pic on Facebook of Little Miss Dani G at about 15 or 16.
I'm bringing all this up because a couple days ago, Little Bird and I walked out to the mailbox, singing "we just got a letter..." ala Blue's Clues. Whatever, you know the tune. Ok, so these teens come speeding down my street bumping rap music (no disrespect to Lil Wayne), and out of nowhere, I hear this 30(ish) year old woman start shouting "Hey, slow it down!!!" But then when I looked around, I couldn't see her. Holy F.... it was ME!!! I've become a midwestern wife/mother who yells at teenagers for doing what I was doing- but it doesn't seem like it was 15 effing years since I was doing it!!!!
Now I might clean up pretty nicely these days....
But I'm still all sass, baby!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

What's your name?

"What's your name, Little Girl??
What's your name?"
-Lynyrd Skynyrd
It was recently brought to my attention that I need an ID Bracelet for Little Bird. I mean, if she got lost she couldn't tell someone who she is or where she belongs. Well, she could, but only someone close to her would understand her! So, Little Bird's Noni (greg's mom) found this website. LB's bracelet arrived today!!
You can read it, right? I edited the photo so you can't stalk me by phone.
I didn't like any of the website's designs for the front, so I left it blank. I need to take the whole thing in to be adjusted anyway, so I was thinking... should I engrave something on it? If so, what? Or should I leave it blank? Either way, isn't this bracelet a really good idea??

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'm just sayin'

Disagree. Seriously, MJ had it made when he was a black man. Sorry to Lori, who already heard this from me on the phone this morning... He was beyond talented, put out some of the best music in the last 40 years, and thrilled the world with the way he made his body move. We all even got past the nose jobs (alleged) and the whole he-lives-with-a-chimp-named-Bubbles thing. By the way, has anyone noticed that Bubbles the chimp has gotten more press this week than the U.S.'s massive mission in Afghanistan?? Can you point to Afghanistan on a map? No, but you totally know the names of MJ's 3 kids, right? Trick question since two of them have the same freaking name (Prince Michael I and Prince Michael II). It's cool, I can't find Afghanistan on a map, and I'm really hoping they can't find me either.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, that MJ was totally better when he was black. As a white man, he creeped me out: living like Peter Pan (calling his home Neverland), playing with small children that did not belong to him (ok, their parents should take on more blame for this), allegedly playing with small parts of small children, etc. Most importantly, his music just wasn't what it was when he was a black man. Trust me, I'm the first to jump up and dance should any old MJ song come up whilst my iPod is on shuffle- which happens a lot since I really am a fan of those songs. I remember when I saw the Victory Tour in 84, wearing a single glove, and I'm sure I saw a solo tour of his as well; went to school with his nieces and nephews; we even went to the same high school (I mean, until I was expelled- and a couple decades apart). But, just to be clear, I'm a fan of his work up until around the Lisa Marie marriage and the naked video they did together- WTF was that anyway?!! Don't remember? Ok, here's the link, but don't say I didn't warn you. Seriously.
I totally promised Devon that I wouldn't write about MJ, and here I am. Sorry, Dev! In effort not to write TWO posts on this topic, I'm making two in one...
Ok, so I'm not a Katy Perry fan, but the video for that song is so pretty and colorful.
Anyway, I have to mention how completely ridic it is that California (the land of my birth) is spending so much money on MJ's funeral security and police work, investigation, etc. That state is so completely in debt, they're laying off teachers, considering closing some state parks, etc. Once I moved out of there and into the Midwest, I was able to see just how out of whack that state's priorities are and this is the ultimate example. They should be charging "mourners" to attend these "public" events to recoup some of their gross overspending. One more point... this isn't the first time the State of California has spent loads of cash on MJ: in the criminal case against him for allegedly molesting and imprisoning kids in his Neverland Ranch, Santa Barbara County spent loads of dollars to prosecute. Obv, he was acquitted, but so was OJ. I'm just sayin'
Ok, Dev, I'm done. I promise.

Friday, July 3, 2009

We Tried

"If you can hold on, hold on"
-The Killers
Me: It's not good.
Him: What?
Me: The whole thing. It's just not good.
Him: Well of course its not. But it is what it is.
Me: It's hard to see those perfect, normal children
Him: I want a normal kid.
Me: I know you do, babe. Me too.
Him: I think we should try.
Me: We did. It didn't work.
Him: Maybe we didn't try hard enough?
Me: We tried.
All this on the drive home tonight... while The Killers serenaded us courtesy of the radio.
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See, it's not just my mom! (since Jan 1, 2010)