A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Friday, October 2, 2009

perspective

Perspective. It's all about perspective. I'm so attached to what I perceive. Measuring my insides to someone else's outsides. Grass is always greener and all that. I'm very codependent when it comes to Little Bird. If she's having a good day, I'm having a good day. But that's not even true. It's actually that if I perceive her to be doing well, then I am doing well. My fear is strong, powerful. It must get that from me. While having a rough day with my girl, we head to Target (happiest place on earth). As we're filling up the cart with shit we don't need, I find myself in the same aisle with a mom and her young adult son. He has a trach collar and an obvious developmental disability. He walks over to us and Little Bird cowers, so I help her "hey, do you want to say hi?" The mom reaches out for him and looks at me like "I'm so sorry if he bothered you, but...." And I just thought, I get it. I've given that look before. I've had all those same feelings of discomfort, fear of judgement, etc when we're in new places or with new people, strangers, and sometimes even friends. I get it, lady. To her, we looked totally typical. She had no idea. Still, I entered that aisle with one perspective and left with another.

2 comments:

My name is Erin. said...

Perception is everything. I often struggle with the question, "Should I tell people about Abby? Or should I let them think she's typicaland maybe just a little odd?" What's better? I don't know. I just play it by ear.

P.S. I was at Target yesterday. I wish I would have run into you in the aisle, too. So when will you be moving to the West side of the State? It's quite lovely here. ;)

Dani G said...

E- Talk about perspective.... I think Brodie is so drastically different that I don't even have to wonder "should I tell them about her", but that's totally my perception brought on by my own shit. The truth is, strangers can't really tell unless they spend more than 10 minutes with us. Then, they can tell. I play it by ear, too. I'm going to hold on to your positive attitude for a while...

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