Friday, October 2, 2009
Grass is always greener and all that. I'm very codependent when it comes to Little Bird. If she's having a good day, I'm having a good day. But that's not even true. It's actually that if I perceive her to be doing well, then I am doing well. My fear is strong, powerful. It must get that from me. While having a rough day with my girl, we head to Target (happiest place on earth). As we're filling up the cart with shit we don't need, I find myself in the same aisle with a mom and her young adult son. He has a trach collar and an obvious developmental disability. He walks over to us and Little Bird cowers, so I help her "hey, do you want to say hi?" The mom reaches out for him and looks at me like "I'm so sorry if he bothered you, but...." And I just thought, I get it. I've given that look before. I've had all those same feelings of discomfort, fear of judgement, etc when we're in new places or with new people, strangers, and sometimes even friends. I get it, lady. To her, we looked totally typical. She had no idea. Still, I entered that aisle with one perspective and left with another.