A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Not there yet

"Am I making something worthwhile out of this place?
Am I making something worthwhile out of this chase?
I am displaced.
I am displaced."
-Azure Ray
I just read this article this morning and I was moved to write. There's kind of a new movement I've seen among the Autism Spectrum Disorder community lately and its all about acceptance. I read in a book once that "acceptance is the answer to all my problems today." If you know this quote, then you're probably smiling right now. Moms of kids with ASD all over the place are becoming more and more comfortable with where their kids are today and accepting them as is, rather than trying to change them. Hmmm, maybe "change them" isn't the right terminology because I'm not trying to change my kid, but I really am. Wait, does that make sense? See, I'm trying to give her the best possible outcome. I'm spending vacations, new wardrobes, etc on her therapies, private schools, doctors, etc. in effort to help her reach her utmost potential. She's not there yet (right?!). We have a shitload of work to do and I'm afraid there's not a lot of time left. I'm working hard to get this kid to talk, interact, socialize, get to know her body in space, feel things, understand things, and finally to be a productive and functional member of society. I'm not done. I'm still going to spend my money, time, sweat, and tears on this journey.
I've got the will, strength, and courage. But acceptance? Nope. I'm not there yet.


Anonymous said...

This "acceptance" does not mean doing nothing about it. It means accepting that there is a potential to be reached through hard work and a lot of patience. You are showing your power by continuing to do all you can to help Brodie realize her potential. I admire you for that... and more, of course. Mom

Anonymous said...

I went to bed crying last night after watching Grey's Anatomy. "Acceptance" is the last step in the grieving process. And they were all about the grief last night. Apparently, you need to accept in order to move on. I suddenly realized I might be stuck in this circle forever because I'm not accepting anything. I will continue with this battle until I see my child doing the things I know he can. I don't want to change who he is, but I do want to help him have a better life. I know his outcome will be so much better because of it. So, no, I'm not accepting...

take care Dani,


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