Saturday, June 27, 2009
A few months ago I was introduced to J, a mom of a little guy who had been where Little Bird is at the bird's age, but now he's out of this space. He's not qualifying for ANY services through the schools. So basically, she's been where I am and has lived to tell. I love these stories and these connections! A couple weeks ago I got an email from someone who knows her and was "referred" to me. Seems she, we'll call her N, has a little boy who has an ASD diagnosis too. She asked, "would I be comf to talk to her?" Dude, of course!!! I told her this is a sisterhood. As a mom of a kid with ASD, I am now a member of an elite group to which I never wanted to belong. But, here I am. So the deal is, there is an instant connection between any two moms who were or are where we are. We are going through something that other moms don't understand. The just DO NOT GET IT. And really, they have no clue how blissful that ignorance is. I thought about this a few nights ago as I read the book The Elephant in the Playroom by Denise Brodey, in which she so elegantly states that she found it "Draining to try to explain my reality to people who weren't living it themselves." I get this. I feel this way all the time. I know that one of the pleasantries of hellos is asking how someone's kids are, but when people without a kid with sp needs asks, I usually just say "thanks for asking." If someone who does have a kiddo with issues asks, I can answer honestly in a language that only we understand. That's right, we have our own language. "Normies" don't speak candidly about their kids being flappy, floppy, stimmy, scripty, prope or vistibular seeking, having dietary infractions, etc. My whole point is that we do NOT need to explain ourselves, our feelings, our issues. It's ALL the same. Even if our situations are different, the feelings are ALL the same. This is a sisterhood. We warrior moms who are fighting our asses off to save our kids and to ensure a better future for our families are sisters. We get each other like no one else can get it. I am grateful for each and every ASD mom out there- whether we've met in person or not; whether we've emailed or not; even if we've just read one another's posts on message boards. You are my sisters and we are in this together.