A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy effing mother's day

"Mama Mia"
-Abba
Happy Mother's Day. I'm sick. I have a really bad upper respiratory thing. I should be on drugs. Strong drugs. My mother's day started in the 5am hour when my very loving husband shook me awake and said "you need to go check on her." She's always been in a crib since she wasn't strong enough to climb out on her own. Well, now that she CAN, she needs to be in a bed. Plus, she's too big and we've waited way too long anyway. So we took the side of her crib off yesterday and put a gate up on her door. That way, she can get up and out of bed and just play in her room, right? Well, Greg is way too nuts about her all the time, so of course he needed to check on her all night. Apparently in the 5 o'clock hour, it was my turn. But when I went in, she was not in her bed and not interested in sleeping anymore. I put her back in bed and told her it was still night time and she needs to stay in bed. I got back into bed and tried to fall back asleep. That was when he started complaining to me about having been up most of the night checking on her, making sure she didnt fall out of the bed, etc. Finally at 615 I couldn't lie in my bed anymore, unable to fall back asleep, listening to Greg's kvetching and tossing and turning with great dramatics; listening to Little Bird at her gate shouting "open! open!" I got up. I brought her downstairs, poured tea with honey (my staple for the last 3 days), turned on the tv and gave in to what she wanted. I feel like shit, I'm exhausted, I'm pissed at Greg for not respecting that I'm sick, that I need rest too, that it's Mother's Day....
It's not all bad. I did get some nice flowers from Greg and Little Bird yesterday, along with some chicken soup. I got to spend some quiet time alone last night since I was too sick to go out, so Greg went out and Little Bird slept and I got to lie in bed and rest up. Of course, the NyQuil didnt kick in until 1130! I'm extra sensitive today because I'm burnt out. I've been working nonstop with Little Bird for the past 4 years and I'm tired: emotionally, physically, spiritually exhausted. This is a really rough, slow process and sometimes it feels slower and slower all the time. I am grateful for the report that came out yesterday about kids recovering from Autism, even more grateful for the encouragement I get from other moms whose kids are so much better than they once were. Nothing worth it is easy, right? RIGHT??

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