A sassy, crafty mama bird from Los Angeles
raising a very sweet little girl with Autism
and a new baby boy in the Midwest... and other stuff, too.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Doll Parts

"I am doll eyes, doll mouth, doll legs"
-Hole
This was in my newspaper this morning following a story on Barbie being 50. Breaking News, I know....

According to Frank Papay, plastic surgeon and chairman of the Dermatology and Plastic Surgery Institute at Cleveland Clinic, to look like Barbie, a typical 50-year-old woman would need to:

  • Have a chemical peel and use Retin A. "That should help the texture of her skin and get rid of the blotchiness and some of the pigment changes."
  • Get an eye uplift where ligaments have loosened and maybe a mid-face lift.
  • Get a brow lift and Botox in the furrows between the eyebrows.
  • Have Botox injections in the laugh lines. If they're severe, have a chemical or laser peel.
  • Have a face lift to help raise the area where the jowls sag.
  • Have a neck lift for sagging under the chin.
  • Schedule a breast augmentation or a breast lift.
  • Schedule surgery to alleviate the saddlebags that settle in hips and thighs due to hormonal changes.
Wait, could important newsworthy stories like this be part of the reason that my local paper is in trouble and will no longer be able to provide home delivery??? I could sit and ponder this, but I've gotta go raise my sagging jowls.

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